hi

okay well um i don't know whats going, on the world is falling apart, well i am for right know excited well i have to work so um yeah take care, i know it's boring but get over it!!!!


love

typ, my code name, i prefer not to sell it out to those computer freaks out there, so yeah.

woooo hoooooooooo, now i got my own ordeal here. i have my own site to where you can what, check my blog every day, goodness i am so stinky happy. really i am=). well to continue on with the story, here's the story. sit back and relax

 

so since this is like on a blog, i will finish the story, encouraged by my friend bruce.

 

"oh my wing, what the heck is that?"

" i haven't a slitest idea!"

" i think it's a cow?"

" hmm thats strange, you ran into a fake cloud and now you are seeing cows flying in the air."

"no nonono, i really saw a cow!!" as they were carring on the conversation, they argued if the bird- freddy was going crazy and insane. the brother bird had to specialize a meeting, for freddy for having maybe something wrong with the wave capacity in the brain. so thats what happened.

 

"Tag you're it!" and ran away. Cow w didn't know what to do, he never ever had a cow come up to him. he continued on munching on the grass. the cow came towards him, and taged him again. W didn't know what to do, he was shocked and cried hystorically. Cow 49, came up to him and asked what was wrong with him.

"you hit me." as he looked at the cow

"no i didn't! What are you talking about" replied the cow calmely.

well then thats how those two ambassadors met. they told eachothers name, and laughed with eachoter, and cow W didn't mind that C 49 had problems with gas. so they lived happily ever after.

what? how dare you, you think this is the end of the story. nooo noono. you are wrong. remember those two cows that were making fun cow W? well here it is. it was a nasty rainy day, poured so hard that you coudn't see the end of the tail. c 49 also supposingly had a special power to were he can here thousands of miles, and listen to a normal conversation. he was munching the grass, and licked himself constantly because he hated getting wet. he listened in, and heard.

"i heard that cow W, is smart huh?"

"yes but he isn't intellegient, he is slow."

"hmm why is that?"

"Well it all started, poor fella, when he was a little runt. i was watching da motha, and she pushed him out. well she thought she did, and of course somehow she was on the top of ifle tower. her end happened to face off the building and bam there went the fela. he fell thousand foot story."

"oh my goodness, so what happened next?"

" well da motha didn't know about this, and still doesn't! no one know, and neither does cow W. thats why he tends to ferget alot."

"hmmm wow, so when do we launch the bomb?"

"um i was dink'n around three o clock."

let me tell you how things work around this barn. these guys, are bad guys, or cows. there not good.. there against cia and appreantaly wanted to conquere the whole world, untill they met pinky and the brain. what a day that was, i sure won't tell you right now but will later. so apperently they had a meeting, and thats it. well first off all, this bomb is the nastiest bomb ever. it's so degrading, that it will make you sick.

that continued to talk,

"so where is da bomb?"

"it's in that bag." as he helped him get it away from the other two retards. so they complished the task.

 

story to be continued. =)

 

well, hello everybody out there, so i have to be carefull on how much i am in detail of my life, well i um hmmmmmmmmm? well anybody watched alias? if you haven't watch it, it's like the best show ever. well i miss  one of my friend. i really do miss her. i can't wait till she comes back. you know whats really awesome, its that i actually miss someone. you see when i was at home, i'ts funny because i talked to my mom about this. that when i was at home, i really never had friends. like i really didn't. i didn't trust no one, not even my mom. and my dad. i thought the whole world was against me, untill a place called, nevermind. well anyways just realizing that i have a friend. to tell you the truth she has been the first one that i could really call her a friend. i know that she cares about me, and i care about her, and to not worry about her talking crap behind my back is like taking that burden off my back. i had so many of stabbackers behind my back, that i realized the hell with all people. that why it's weird for me to have this in thought of missing her. she is like the first one. Goodness, don't worry i am not some freak, i just always wanted a friend, in my life, and i think i for the first time have one. so it's an awesome reassurence to know that. i thought i might share that with you. about the cow story, i am sorry, i realized that words are few so i can only say things that will affect you. i thought i can't make life a joke, but that everyday through out our life we are faced with the mentality, when are we going to be next. to face our partner that we fear most, death. you know i realized that there is power in words, and didn't know that untill i had faced them when i was in an orphanaged. i was told by someone that i was stupid, and that i was special in a definition that i was pretty much retarted. i had to face this again in grade school and middle school and half my years in highschool. i realized that it can really physically terrigate the mind. it can distruct the mind for the rest of the person's life. so i came to this thought, encouraging is one thing that the devils hates. i realized this by watching movie. a person comes to you, and cusses you out. out of brain comes to a comeback by saying something else with out us thinking before what we say, and litterlay stab the person to death. so if we think about this. we do everything the opposite way that the devil wants then it comes to this answer. we have to encourage eachother. i know this for a fact.

i was in a placement, and i realized that God was the one that i had to invite in my life. if i didn't, i would be faced with memories that i stored in my life, and i would of retaliated and would of saw nothing in life, expect that it was evil, and only held evil. i gambled with God of course, because it was hard for me to trust Him do to my past. having teachers talk crap about me, and saying that i am retarted, was hard for me to face. i hated all my teachers. having to face so called friends that talked about you and made fun of you and you had to smile at them knowing that they were full of it, and smiled at them like nothing was wrong. dang how in the world can i trust anybody else.

you know whats really funny though, i wasn't the only one that went through this, i am pretty shure those who are reading this, it also happened to them, and it is still happening to them. there are those who can't trust know one. having that feeling carried with you everyday of your life sucks! i know this for a fact. so this person was the first one that i was going to test. she of coursed seemed to pass and will let her pass. of course i am scared but i realized this, that no one can't trust me, if i can't trust anybody else. i realized that its okay if they break your heart and really tworn it. Jesus went through the same thing. Man............. Jesus was the Man. He knew how to deal with relatioship. look at this. JAMES i think was the one that betrayed Him. what did Jesus do? i bet it broked His heart, but the most amazing thing was he loved him, even though he betrayed Him. i looked at this whole thing, pondered on it, as i was sitting in class. if she that i call her a friend, broke me, i still have to love her no matter what. and i am okay with that for the first time. she is the first one on my list, and i am going to make it right just to see what will happen. i love her and will and i am glad to say that i have a friend. no i still don't trust alot of people. i mean really is it okay to start one by one?

well i am not writing this so that people can feel sorry for me. Goodness that is like the last thing i want on this face of this planet, for someone to feel sorry for me. i wrote this to encourage those out there, search in your heart, and try at least someone out there, at least a christian or someone that know God. i did, and man,  its really awesome to have the feeling come back to me, of missing someone. i thought i would of never had that feeling. for pet's sake, she was is fone like only for what, like 1n half weeks. i don't even know when she is coming back. so yeah, i thought i would tell you guys about this whole thing, i guess you can call it really good news. i hoped that i encouraged someone out there that is reading this.

here is another good news, i gave my email to my sister, so i am happy to hear from her, and that she can see or here what i do, and what my life is all about!! well i am excited to here from, you. i can't wait, it's sunday night, and i have one more day to go!!!! well much love to guys.

keep the those that are in military force in prayer, and those that are in other forces, that are fighting in iraq. God bless.

typ ( i can't give my name out, i am a little freaked out, and my mom told me to becarefull, so i am please if you know me, don't give it out thanks, and if you want to copy this and send it to your friends, tell me!!!) thanks

i don't even know why this whole thing is doing this so i am sorry, but i got this from a friend of mine so i am sorry, this whole thing is weird, but i hope that you guys like it. i sure didn't write it. no way!! so enjoy and have an awesome day.=)

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ....AND YOU WILL CRY...


Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room.  She said, "How is my little boy?  Is he going to be all right?  When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry.  We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer?  Doesn't God care any more?  Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes.  The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study.  He said it might help somebody else.  I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die.  Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom."  She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else.  Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there.  She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings in it on the seat beside her in the car.  The drive home was difficult.  It was even harder to enter the empty house.  She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.  She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them.  She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke.  Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter.  The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU.  I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again.  Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me.  He can have my room and old stuff to play with.  But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do.  You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.  Don't be sad thinking about me.  This really is a neat place.  Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything.  The angels are so cool.  I love to watch them fly.  And, you know what?  Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures.  Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.  Jesus himself took me to see GOD!  And guess what, Mom?  I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him -- like I was somebody important!  That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed.  Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter.  I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you.  God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him, 'Where was He when I needed him?'  God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross.  He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

"Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you.  To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper.  Isn't that cool?  I have to give God His pen back now.  He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life.  Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper.  I'm, sure the food will be great.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore.  The cancer is all gone.  I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either.  That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me.  The Angel said I was a Special Delivery!  How about that?

"Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me."

Let's see Satan stop this one.  Take 60 seconds and send this to five other people.  Within the hour you will have caused a multitude of believers to pray to God for each other.  Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit work in your life for doing what you know God loves.

"When you're down to nothing, God is upto something."

 

ok, well i am doing better, last few days has been not to good. and no i won't go into detail. but i will be okay. things are changing so fast, and i have to go with the flow, or i will  be  considered to be pothetic loser. i guess one of the person through out my life was right. i am to scared to change because i will have responsiblity, and i don't like to have responsibility for my own action. its hard, and i have to grow up and get over it, and do it quickly. you know after living a life of having no responsiblbity because of the issue of having trust combined with that whole sequal . i think that is reason but then i am highly not educated becuse eather i was told and pretty much heard a different language or, i was never told. really these past fews days sucked. i don't know what to do. its like another level that i have to go through.

look have the stuff i did through out my life, i didn't mean to. i didn't even know that i did, i didn't have a purpose behind it. something came up and then i acted upon it, in a nieve way, not in a way of having the thought of it's all about me syndrome. i promise you. i really didn't ='(. i don't know what to do, i am so confused. here's a secret to my life. ummmmmmmmmmm. no thats a big little bo boo. u c if i tell you, the whole world would know, and would easily have the guts to use against me for their own superior. high gain, to make themselves feel like there mighty and powerfull. to make themselves better then anyone. you know whats really funny people do this, of which what i call caca, all the time. and @ the same time i hav 2 lov, them. and that is what i am facing every day. how can  i?

i am hurt everyday, by small things. you see i give people test all the time to see if i should trust them. i was meaning to tell a certain person about a little somethin something. but how can i when i faced a situation that wasn't supposed to be told to anyone, and right behind my back everybody on the face of the planet knew of my situation that i told this person. it was supposed to be between me and the person, not the whole world!!!!! )=@. i was fumed, and of course had to go through the whole day acting like i was happy because if i didn't there would be some people that would butt in an have the excuse and privelege, buy saying the famious words "you are having an attidude", when i was just crushed that day. the only people that i trust is three, mom, ls, and God. thats all i trust, and no one else. not even you  who are reading this unless you know your intitial by ls.

i guess you can pray for me. if you want to waiste on me. i am so sorry but i am not having a good day and haven't. man am i supposed to be here? i am so confused and so hurt. i am so sorry, but one way or the other i have to get it out. lol back then i had a counselor and she asked if i kept a journal? i said heck no, people would find such as my  mom, and look at me in discust if i ever kept a journal, and so she said it sometimes works. so i guess i am trying it out. sorry i lay this whole coded text to you guys. i don't even think you haven't a clue to what i wrote, and i pretty much meant it that way. it makes me feel better, and literally those who know me, can see what i face truly, and what to pray for.

well, thanks for listening. not such a hot note is it? well if you do have answers to my problems, i am willing to listen. i already know one of them is read the word and ask God for his guidance, and you shall be fine, but God made humans also, and people take the advantage of giving those kind of answers, when God all along wanted them to talk to that certain person so that He, God can connect to the person by that other person.

so what i am trying to say, if you have words or something and don't cop out by saying," Ask God" but if you mean it, and God is saying that then yeah i will take it in considerate, but if you have something more, please............. you can literally save my life, throught help of God.

you see God workds in wonderious ways, and if you listen more closely, you can save not me but below, that is waiting also.

take care, i will talk about my trip at home.( quite the ordeal that i faced with.)

 

ello, man my eyes are like blod shot, from watching alias. tsss ts shame on me huh? well i have time between  hmm and hmm. so yeah. well spring conceret was like on a mon, around 6:30. i haven't yet went, i am not to excited about it. but they did okay last year. the christmas concert, stunked. so i hope that they quickly advanced to not my own preceps. well, i have homework to do that is like due tommorow. the class that i am taking is church history one. no it's not that appealing to my eyes. but i hope that it will eventually during the time that is to come. hopefully it is not to late for me to adventure into that area. so today was somewhat, decent. the sun was in placed, and the clowds to my own sprizement wa also. so last night i didn't know if it rained or not, but some how i had the control to let it. it smelled good afterwards. so then i woke up, and then i went to church. again i felt like an idiot. i was the only one sitting there alone with hermm hmmm. and man i felt like an idiot. well so yeah i was sitting in sundayschool and i didn't fall asleep. praise God. but of course rp spoke, and so i didn't fall asleep. he did a good job. well then worhips came, and wow it was not to bad. i promise you i never saw the front seat be filled in such away that it was faster then a bullot. k bamb there they were. i shook my head in such annonyance. were the heck was everyone? i keep having this thought go through my head, did the rapture come? WHERE IS EVERYBODY? 

so, well i am going through a hard time............ i mean my "friend" mm, is geting maried to a loser. he is a freak, here let me explain him. his is 5'4', wait, probably 140 puunds. light complection, brown eyes, hair brown, a little husky, his name is micheal something i forgot his last name, but i will tell you after i get the full detail. in some way, i want to go up to her wedding just to make him nervious as heck, so i could look at him as he pees his pants. and as the the guy or pope says does anybody go against this, i would stand up and say yes i do.

but you see God works in a good way. i probably end up hitting that freak! well i am so scared. i mean what is he going to do to her? is he going to beat her up secretly since he is lincesed to her, and is held accountable to her, meaning pretty much has custody of her, because of the marriage certificate. i bet the mother of mm, goodness she ticks me off, i want to say to her, you are only sending your daughter to hell. and she doesn't give a crap and thats what ticks me off. she doesn't want to be responsible for her daughter and she is willing to go so far to let mm, get married so that she doesn't have to deal with mm crap. that taught me something, it is this. my mom is going to the wedding. i asked her why in the world are you going to her wedding. she said that she wants to be there for the mother of mm. i looked at her, and shooked my head. she is one of them she believes in the new tolerance. i looked at her, and asked how in the world can she stand and let this crap happen? she didn't have an answer and i knew she wouldn't. i am in pain physically, and i can't to do anything, nothing. she is pregnant. and i swear if he touches her i will hunt that freak, and litteraly ask the police to send him to jail, for abuse.

i hope that i don't have to.  but my mom, she believes in the new tolerance. it makes me so depressed, that she is getting so oblivious to the meaning of moral, and truth. she doesn't know what truth is. she also believes that truth is not absolute but relative. it's like she is standing in the room, and she is willing to take a bullot for no cause, but from the enemy. and you have no idea how much i wan't to tell her, noooooooooooooooooooo mom, don't let them do it to you. don't let them kill you. she is so close to her )3271-1. and i am so scared, so i pray that every day that someone out there will tell her about the real truth. not some crap truth that the world gives out. so it's like i am in the middle of the balancing life. if i leaned that way, it looks like hell, and the other, same but different, because ther is a light underneath the end. i want to fall but when? i have to do it soon, but i am so freak'n protectiive of myself, that i don't know. i am so scared. becuase what if i do lean towards the light, and find myself next day that //0// )13). no i don't trust some things that often. i am scared, and i don't know what to do. so i pray that tommorow will be an awesome day.

i feel like i am dry, like so dry that i am out of it, and blivious to all things. i fell like going to (-?(1-1 is boring. i don't feel no one. it's like verrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm over my head kind of deal. well tonight's service was awesome. hold on. =\ ticked off right now. so i have to deal with this bug that is manifested inside my room. it happens to bug me, and i can't yet squish it. =| erghhhh. the thing of which is just a matter that was created for only reason to annoy the heck out me, is ticking me off. i am sick of putting the mask on everyday. this person, conitinues to go on and mess with my brain. i a woke this morning by the scoundels of noise that was like c bamb. i thought there was bombs that was set off in my room leaving nothing but the sun to be black., and the clowds gray leavinv to light to linger about. how inconsiderate for a person to leave that as a present in the morning. i just have to expect it, becuase if i set the bomb off, i will be consulted by my leaders, and probably be kicked off the bible college when alot of people is doing the same crap. sorry due to my moment of madness. but one way got to get it out heh? o fear not i will talk to my counselor soon. so don't worry, i should have a better days.

so thats what happened. it's another day. so last night, tf spoked. he did an awesome job. he talked about the body. the reason why our church is so ermm hmm ermm hmmm. b cuz we mis comprhend that we are to be what God wants us to be. we can't be all superherior. some one gotta do that one crummy job. be a tash collector. thank God i'm not one of them. but then i wouldn't mind. i would be picking the trash out peoples life, and throwing it in the trash. well i was going to go into detail on about the sermon, but i was once and again ermmmmm mmmmmm blah blah blah. so thats it.

ahhhhhhhhhhh man it's like the end of the day. and guess who i saw today? jd. man i was soooooooooo stink'n happy. like i was really happy. she got me this mint thing, box, and it has a picture, which looks like vango, but heck i don't know, i am just happy. well i am still talking tomorrow to my counselot i have dance and i will type another letter. soooooooooooo tattaa. pray for me, and those that you care about. well take care guys. really this means alot to me when you sit and read this, or if it still smacked on the screan and no eyes had hit yet. well who cares? right? well i am starving so i am gonna srandel for some food. love you guys a lot. =).

t3p.

so, man it stinks, whew........... well i was supposed to have my meeting w/ my councelor but she had another appointed that was scheduled for her. well i am really tired actually. so this whole thing will be not to long, unless i get really sentimental. is it just me, or am i the only one who thinks that @ r horrible. i despise everyone of them. i think they are horrible. they don't even know the meaning of relationship. is none communication a meaning of friendship? because i find that crap. i mean come on, lets pretend that who ever is reading this you and i are friends. k but i came from spain. i was born and was raised in a shelter for children. k so i pretty much had some basis of the meaning of what friends were all about.

you and i were good friends when i came to america. you helped me out, and yadi dah. so then all of a sudden we both grew up, and walla happened to meet at a placement, for something. so you and i pretty much saw eachother. then all of a sudden i felt a tug meaning in a way that we some how are starting to get seperate. the heck!!!!!!!!!!! what is this? some kind of friendship? why is it hard for me to trust people? am i going insane. good Lord, i promise you this, whenever i leave this place i am personally going to get a councelor and seeing her everyday. why do i go insane. i feel like the whole world ................. ah heck why do you care? you probably have the mind already set in gear for in this thought. she is such a poor little baby, its all about me, thats all she thinks about! well you know what you can shut up!!!

so i am sorry, i am a little ticked. its just that alot of things are going through my head. who in the world am i? am i okay............... fine this is what happened

i was sitting in class by what i call idiots that sat beside me. i roled my eyes and kept my mouth shut for i hoped i didn't cussed in class. well mrs. fw was teaching class. and of course some students were caring on a conversation. i couldn't hear a darn word that came out of my teachers mouth. i litterlay wanted just to sit there in my chair and cry. you see i have only one thought of process. my brain can receive only one thing at a time. so like if you were talking and someone else was talking to me, i couldn't hear both of you at all. thats what pretty much had happened. then of course i had to ask fw to repeat, and them students had to role there eyes and mutter under their breath. you know how i felt. it really hurts, because i felt that they were degrading me by saying something under neath their breath. i felt stupid. it was another way to say, -shut up and don't ask questions, and lets get this whole thing over with. well give it to you later.- bull crap, they never even have the time to help me after class. so mrs fw came up to me, and asked if i was okay. of course i told her no, and told her that is how i flunked all my classes because students wouldn't shut there mouth, and let me ask the questions. she was so awesome because she helped me alot. she told me that she would stand for me. by the way this doesn't have to do with anything but it somewhat to a degree it sortive does. my mom, she is so stink'n wise, she wrote on one my journals, to always ask question, because thats how you are going to go through life. and i took that in considerate. i was, always afraid to ask question because of the situation that i told you up above. people muttered under neath their breath, or told me to shut up. or rolled their eyes in annoince or gave some kind of body language that they were annoyed. so what i have to say to this is, that i despise people who are willing to let someone not learn that they are idiots, and stupid. so thats what happened to day.

well goodness, i feel like a pothetic loser. OH ............. HOLD ON IS IT BECAUSE PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! bruce i know that you don't treat me like that. and it amazes me, i sometimes think you were born in a different country because it is hard for me to receive the thought that you know the defention of friendship. and there is only like what ........... one percent who do know what the meaning of it is?

here is a question that burned me. can i trust people and rely on them. my answer to this degrading question is this. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NO you can't. i know that my children will. they will know the meaning of trust. but no i can't trust no one. i don't like the this quote and it somewhat doesn't make sens. if you can't trust people you won't be trusted. thats bunch of bolony!! that is so false. i have lots of so called "friends" that trust me, that do things behind my back, or even lie to me in front of my face. not lie directly but white lie, which i hate. but some how i still honor them by keeping their "dark deep secret". it hurts to be used like a item. only use it for their self enjoyment. it litterlay ticks me off, and i am sick of going every day, living a life, trying to kiss their end twenty four seven.  and smile like nothing happened. i hate trying to deny problems when i am asked, are you mad at me, and i say no, i am not. i hate it, when i am beyond the word ticked.

why do people look at me like i am disabled. don't deny and try to say, oh tereza, they do not, ........because dange it they do. i know this because i looke at a sertian person and that somewhat "leader" treats this person like a princess, like it is royalty. it not just me. its the same with this other person. i will call it bob. sooooooooo bob goes up to the leader, freak. freak talks to this special person called, shortcake. sooooooooooo shortcake has a question, and goes talks to this freak. the freak looks at it, in caring loving and adoration. then bob also has a question. it asked freak, the freak just stared at it, like it was a piece junk. freak is annoyed, moves around and communicates with his body language that he is annoyed, and wants bob to hury up. this actually happened. dang it i see it everyday, and it ticks me off. i try to ignore it, but this is a HUGE problem i gotta face, because i know how bob feels. by the way, bob isn't me for those who are trying to fit names in these pothetics code names. )=\........ that why i am not going to join 373?/17'/ b/d. b cuz i can't face mr. freako, and shortcake. thats the last thing of my life is to deal with mr. freako that has favoritism, and heck no i am not jelious, i am just a justice person. one for all!! there is no one special. everybody is the same. and i already have that in grained in my brain. the only person that is special and deserves to be uprizen and to be praised is Jesus Himself, the rest heck no. i don't know when i am going to get on internet anymore, but i hope soon. so i can get some peoples commit. i am lossing my mind, and freak'n out.

am the only that sees the situation that i said above because if i am, then i want to.............134\3 71-115 914(3. i can't stand to be the only one that sees this. thats why i miss ?brn. she understood me, she saw what i saw. i felt normal, and not some freak.

well if you have this like amazing answer to my horrible life, please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks

i might take it in considerate.

-o-Zzz

well i talked to one of my counselor, and only gave one simple answer, to not worry about anyone. hmmm such a simple answer, but behind it, so hard to do. so i don't worry about it. i don't worry that mr. freako has favoriretism. though i face him every day. nope, poof he is gone out of my mind. yeah right! =\....... (annoid). i don't know............... sooooooooooooooo i just want to tell hi to you lori. thanks for your commit. ur so sweet. weird huh? on how i like mentioned ur name. sooooooooo i am annoid. i am annoid. annoid that i have to face this complex that i have to decode. who in the world is this person. like i feel like i don't know who she is. she is one way, and i swear she likes changes her personality her looks like in a blink of an eye. it's so amazing. i don't know when she is kid'n and when she is not. is this person trying to distinct herself from this world? (//3)  i ddon't know.

well thanks lori so much for you letter. i even printed it out, and kept it. i'm gonna have to find a shoe box for you. so that i can save ur letters, and keep it, and read it and read it. it's sad but i can hear your voice and it ecnourages me.

kevin do me a favor, write something else in ur blog. my newspaper keeps being the same, and i would like to read your daily news. =)

well shereen, i love you gurl.

so i was going to tell you what happened on the day that i went home, and when i saw mm. but i decided not to. it's scary, and i don't want to pyle my mind with junks. i already have to many and it's scary.

so i hear that bruces wedding is coming up =D. congradulations!!!!. can't wait till i c u in that tuxido. well where in the world is the wedding? i don't even know where it is. such a pity ins't it? well soooooooooo

i decided that you know life is nothing but bad, because there are notty people, and that i have to face them everyday of my life, and get used of it. how can i, when i know that they are going to hell for it. and so much in me wants to say, and tell them nooooooooooooo don't do that, come and follow this man that i know. well i have to read the bible. i don't know how it will help me. but i guess that it will set the foundation that i need for my everyday life. it's just that i don't see it, and i don't know why i am so blind to that. well gota kill that darn flesh. well i don't have to much to say. i will don't worry report anyting good that happends.

i am going to talk to this person though. so wish me good luck. i hope that everything goes well, then i will tell you how it went. how bout that. i hope that it goes well.

i am tired and i just want to think about this whole thing.

love you lots. guys, and thanks for you help and your words. it really touches me, and i appreciate it.

so ............ i was like in prayer and once again, nobody was there, in prayer. no one. of course i wasn't in shock. well i hope that i don't share to much. it's like a way to dump things out so i can breathe. well i was a little annoyed, b cuz hermm hermmmm. well dang i kneed 2 741< 2 50//31. but i have no clue when.

well let me tell you guys a little someth'n someth'n.... goodness its like the best thing that is going to happend and i can't wait. this is good for me, i get to know what in the heck is going on. sooooooooo i am excited. we are having this "meeding" that we are supposed to go right after sunday evening church in the library. i don't like the library part, but then i don't care. i don't know what we are going to talk about, but i hope there's gonna be some crap that will come on the table. but then i'm not to re assured about it. but i can't wait, i have a funny feeling something will happen in our meeting. i don't like the fact that there is going to be boys in there. personally i think all of them that are in the last year and this year, i hate them all. well not hate, but i despise them, and i think there stupid. so i'm gonna have to look at them. but yeah, soooooooooo i am actually interested about it. well last night i had like a freaky dream. someone tried to kill me, but they didn't. it was weird.

well i am tired. and i gotta do alot of things. its rainging today. lori whats that song that is just between you and i, i forgot it. well much love.

bruce where r u????????????????????????????????????????????